Turning The Page in Slow Motion

How many times we are stuck in situations that in spite all of our efforts we cannot change the outcome?

How many times we found ourselves doing over an over the same and receiving the exactly same results?

Maybe it is a relationship we cannot move forward into a higher level. Maybe it is our way of communicating, or a job we desperately need to finish. Whatever it is, sometimes we either start trying different ways around it, or we have to get the courage to turn the page and move on to something else.

And while I was thinking about this, and having the knowledge that this is what I have been doing for a long time, I thought, that turning the page doesn't mean that we always have the ability to do so in a fast, sudden unconscious way. We have to acknowledge that this is what we need to do, work with it, connect with the emotions that our body expresses and find ways to cope with our state of mind in order to let things flow into a new direction.

This process which I particularly find interesting, healthy and positive, in my case, needs to be done in slow motion. We cannot stress ourselves out trying to put things behind , people or situations from one day to another.  It is no so easy to shift into something new. Letting things go produces many times fear and definitely gets you out of your comfort zone. Still, it is wise to start with the exercise of moving forward. Day by day, little by little. Encouraging ourselves and feeling certain that every end has a new beginning and that this new beginning is an opportunity for something great.

If you need to turn your page in any aspects of your current moment, do it, but in slow motion. Before you realize you will be exited with something new and the past, will just remain in the past.

Mysterious Ways

As I was breathing some fresh air in my home's balcony, it crossed my mind U2's song " She moves in mysterious Ways" and even it may have nothing to do with what I am about to write It made me think about the mysteries of life. She sure moves in mysterious ways.      
                                                     
If I go back 20 years from now, I would never have  guessed what life had prepared for me and how drastic  the changes in my way of thinking would be.
We change. Regardless of our constant attachment to things, people or thoughs, without being quite conscious about it, we do change.

All our life experiences move us to a new dimension, they polish us and little by little we become a new us. I am glad for that.

Due to my limited education in means of openness and free thinker, on my younger years I would somehow divide, look down on and underestimate other people. Foolish me.
I was skeptical and contained within the boundaries that my family, school and religion would impose.

Eager to live life fully, and passionate as I am, with time those walls began to break down. My own mistakes and the hard reality of life, made me grow, understand myself and above all be open to everyone around me with their differences and similarities.
Before, My essence  and true self were hidden underneath layers of insecurities, ignorance and lack of internal freedom.

As my life moved on and sailing   through rough waters, I learnt that we are all One. Each individual is a diamond stone. Some precious, some being polish and some others still rough,  but all of us  dealing with the uncertainty of our existence, moving forward to the challenges that arrive at our doorstep.

As a wide river that flows constantly,branching from time to time, we wake up from the mist of our own beliefs. What we once hated, we love. What we once criticized , we accept. What we once ignored we embrace. We are constantly changing, and if we follow our heart and intuition, free from judgment and filled with love, the mysteries of life won't reveal themselves but they will  surely be welcomed as gifts so that we can keep on growing in awareness, acceptance and love.

If The Bridge Starts to Wobble.. Don't Worry!

It doesn’t matter how much you have evolved in your life. There is always so much to acknowledge and to learn from new experiences and outcomes.
I have been mastering myself for many years now, and still I know I have a long road ahead of me. It is funny that sometimes when you think that  everything’s is going right there is a  sudden shift and uncertainty appears.

Last year I had an intense couple of months  filled with changes, new responsibilities and great challenges. Even being  emotionally stable, all these changes I went thought  moved me from my shaft as if a hurricane had passed over me. I felt  lost and it was hard to find my way back to that fine peaceful  equilibrium between mind and body that I once had.

In a two month period I moved my office, I moved my home, I worked abroad for 2 weeks leaving my children at home,  and I got a an additional new job with high expectations placed upon me.

It was too much to handle.

I got distressed, my children suffered my absence and apart from that some night panic and insomnia hit on me. It was awful.  I couldn’t get my stuff together.  My once organized, fulfilling happy life was out of sight.

Being determined in giving the best of me as one of my life rules, I knew that even if we are in total darkness we can  find light and  all the answers and strengths are inside of us. We are capable of making the changes we want for our lives. In chaos possibilities appear.
I could feel that silent inner spirit that seeks certainty, comfort and peace whispering me that everything was going to be fine, I was going to find a way out in order to be in a better place. I trusted that, cause I know that we have to be open to it, aware, listening our intuition and the messages of our body.

In fact that is what it happened, my soul  find a way to express through art .  I have learned that one of my most intense defense mechanisms is the sublimation of emotions, thus being totally stressed, burned out, and lost in my mind, all of that transformed into the desire to share messages of peace and love in drawings. A new window opened. I found myself illustrating every day for hours and little by little I got back on track.

I reorganized my life, made massive changes again and bet on my intelligence and trust in myself that I was going to move forward from this step to get into a new unknown  road where I could make better choices, being more aware to prevent going to far out of my path.

If you are not going through a good period of your life. Do no lose faith! Be Determined and trust in Yourself that you can Move Forward and change whatever is wrong in your life.

What is it that life is trying to teach me today?

One of my my friends in facebook, posted that question today on his timeline. An amazing question, I may say.

I can see that there is a great amount of people learning to live in the NOW, the present moment. Accepting life as it is and letting things flow.   Whatever happens to us has an effect in our lives. Probably we can't see clearly  why things turn as they do, but I am positive that after a while the meanings of our outcomes or situations slowly appear and they are there to teach us something.

As I posted before I see my life as a huge puzzle with loads of  colourful little peaces. At first when don't have a clue what the big picture  is and there is always that cheeky wirdly shapped piece that we cannot fit anywhere.

If  we connect with out emotions and we learn to align our actions, being more and more present in the moment, we will be capable of instantly learn the lessons meant for us.

If we can do this  I am sure that as the course of our lives start shaping up we will be able to sense more clearly the final picture.

May's Way

Yesterday I sang this song at my singing class show. I thought that my Blog is a great place share it, since as you can read in my previous entries, I live my life quite doing it MY WAY !

Live with Intention & Passion. Life is short and if we make the right choices we can really enjoy the experience. I sometimes add a little drama to everything, maybe because I am very emotional and sensitive. Nevertheless, most of the time I am happy, at peace and keeping myself as positive as I can be.

Mariana

Proud Mamma

Since I  remember, on my early childhood years, my ultimate lifetime goal was to have babies. Sweet, chubby, smiley babies I could take care off. 
My room was always congested with all kinds of  plush teddies, dolls and of course an almost look real baby doll, with her own sets of  adorable clothes and accessories such as diaper bags, real diapers I would ask my mom to buy, pacifiers, soft colored blankets and more cute stuff.


I was a  girl pretending to be and adult. Funny to say it now, while looking back, it was not long after that, that I was  jumping into the amazing  and powerful motherhood experience.


Surrounded by maternity and self help books, parental magazines and my natural mother instinct I started raising my children the best I could. It was soon after that I realized that as good as I was with some stuff I was bad with other. Let's face it, we are not, and never will be perfect machines.


I loved it. All of it. The cramps, indigestion, kicks, heartburn, my tummy getting bigger , I getting bigger, the ultrasounds, breast feeding, Gerber food, baby Mozart, sleeping next to my babies, their smiles and the crying. Just being a MOM was the best gift ever! 


Life got complicated, as usual, and  despite my great sorrow and contradiction in my heart, my status changed from a somehow desperate housewife, to single working mom. A big shift let me tell you.  I had so much guilt. All I wanted was to raise my  babies, being a present mom, and now I had to leave my children all day long to be able to  feed them.  


Eventually I managed to prove myself that a woman can just be an incredible mother despite being several hours away from home. I had great quality time with both my boys and I always tried to be happy with myself and my life because I knew that if I was happy, they were going to be happy as well.


Many pages have been turned in the book of my life. Moments of great joy, and sad situations have come and gone, but the most essential change was my shift in consciousness. A complete new beginning for me and therefore, for my children.


The new methodology of home teachings, our deep and sincere conversations, and  the conscious and unconscious messages that irrupted from me, made my children more aware, more present.. and finally, more conscious as well.


At times, I would feel scared that my new way of seeing the world and all that I transmitted my children about life and the corrupted standards of society I now disliked, would somehow affect their everyday life, especially with their peers and at school. Well, my fears were right, It did a bit. But as time went by, and I started observing my children and listening to their arguments, their own thoughts and questionings, I came to the conclusion that I had to be at peace with these fears, I just had to keep being myself as a mom, and as a person. With time they would choose their own path, with the right resources to cope with this world.


I am tremendously proud of both my children. They might not be straight 'As.. the opposite actually and surely they make many mistakes and get on my nerves many times. But they are caring, emotional, aware of injustice, smiley , humorous, relaxed,affectionate, with a warm heart,  very supportive and above all they want to follow their heart and be true to themselves.


Yep. I am Proud Mamma with a real smile in my face. 


**Thank you Sebastian and Nicolas for being so lovely.**

Tasty Love Thoughts Salad

That is  my mind at the moment.

There is so much I want to write about, but somehow I don't find the way to get it all in order, sit down and  put into words all my thoughts.

So, here is a BIG TASTY Salad of miscellaneous love thoughts that come all the way from my warm heart,  my soul and my tangled just waked up mind.

I have been trying to explain to myself why  I feel this deep love for someone I have loved already for some time now and no word could describe my feeling . Any phrase I pronounced in my self talk didn't do any justice to the feeling itself. Imagine that, If I cannot even know how to express it to myself,  how could I explain others or even my beloved?

Then of course, Love doesn't need to be explained or labeled into a nice cute sentence. LOVE is about feelings, LOVE is about thoughts and LOVE is about actions.


 I decided to shift my concern, and think that being able to experience Love at such intensity is the best thing that could happen to me. Knowing I can love deeply makes me smile. I am  full of Love. I cannot keep it to myself, I need to share it, and find the way to let it  flow out of me.


We all Love in different ways, that, I have observed, and so I came to the conclusion that if someone loves me in a different way, it is not worse or  better, It is just different.

Love can not be purchased. Love can not be bargained. Love is not selfish and love doesn't look the other way.
Love expands by itself. It is not tangible. Love has no borders, no terms, no obligations. It just emerges from within, fills up your heart, numbs your mind, and fires up your heart.

It's language is far more advanced than any scientific mind can explain. It is about a silent connection of souls.

Reading what I just spontaneously wrote, made me want to write a love song.. I should try and do that!!!

 LOVE DEEPLY!

Mariana

The Lonely bug

We can either chose to be alone or be surrounded by lots of people. It is a choice we are able to make. This doesn't mean that in any of these scenarios we will necessarily be happy and feel accompanied.

We may feel lonely even when we belong to a group of friends that always stick together, or live in the nest of a home welcoming family.

Solitude is a much deeper feeling that visit us uninvited from within.

We self talk ourselves that maybe we are not comprehended or  we make excuses saying that we are conditioned by some kind of innate craziness. We expect to much of  others and we end up disappointed by them. So then, we just let go of those relationships little by little without saying much. Still, loneliness lurks.

What are our options to avoid this emptiness of feeling the pain of being the Lonely Bug? These are some of my  personal suggestions:

- Love Yourself: When you are at peace with your own self and you enjoy your own company, you probably will never feel lonely again.


"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." Oscar Wilde


- Don't Expect from Others: When you expect and then you don't receive what you have expected, this can be really disappointing, thus, the relationship will automatically be affected. We need to learn that we are all different creatures, we came form different experiences, and we see reality with our own filters. It is narrow minded to believe that we will all see things with the same perspective.

" Anger always comes from frustrated expectations" Elliot Larson


- Don't Be Attached: When you are attached to something or someone, you depend on that to fulfill your own needs. By doing this you enable something external to control your own life.Inner harmony can only be reach only when you are free from attachment.

"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first." Goenka


- Dedicate Time to your hobbies: When you have a hobby or practice and activity with passion, time reference will never be the same. It is one of the best ways to fill in spare time! Many times we leave on the side those things we love the most because we do not have the time or the money to spend. Well, if we quit in our own passions, nothing else will matter and in the end we will feel upset, lonely and disappointed with our own life.
 If you do not know what's your passion yet.. GO AND LOOK FOR IT ASAP!

I find these rules useful to my life, and I consider that if we accomplish my first suggestion, the rest will fall into place...


If you feel a Lonely Bug, well.. that could be somehow great if you find a way to see the beauty in it!

And So it is...

that Life gives us and takes from us on a regular basis. Nothing is completely perfect and it is a challenge to be happy, to feel joyful and grateful every day in spite of the bad things that happen to us.

The way I believe we should walk through  life is by being our own self, connecting with our emotions, getting to know what drive us, what our vulnerabilities and our values are.  Loving ourselves and stop expecting we depend on external things to be happy.

We have everything we need inside of us.

The Cry of Help

When you do not connect to other people's emotions, there is no way you can experience their sadness, or perceive their hard and terrifying experiences. Even though they are sometimes hard to digest, I couldn't go through life not comprehending why others act in a certain way. What is their truth behind their actions, and why some are reaping dislikes, sorrow, bitterness, abandonment and finally walking towards a eventual surrender.

I have seen very closely, the cry of Help. And , it is one of the most saddest moments I have experienced.   I believe that we all have within the power to take control of our lives, the intelligence of finding a way to change the course of our experience. But I can now see clearly, that not everybody has the courage to give such an important step, not everyone has the containment of good people around. The arrival of fear, does not allow any light of faith.

I can understand also, that for some, acknowledging their past actions, their mistakes and bad elections,  it would imply such a deep and agonizing pain, that they would prefer not realizing it at all, mainly because without the strength to move forward and forget the past, they would fall even more into the desperation, guilt and rage and even their beginning of their slow death.

Falling into the darkness of life,the abyss of pain and regret and the comprehension that life itself has been wasted behind the superficial enchantment of  power, money, sex and the abuse of drugs and alcohol  is a stark reality that many prefer not to accept and therefore live in denial, not only harming themselves but those around them.

It is a challenge not to fall in despair when overwhelming situations of life come to us, it is a challenge to accompany others in their sorrow, and a challenge to seek the best for ourselves.  A challenge worthwhile.

I will keep encouraging myself and the people I come across life to follow this path. The road to enlightenment, the way to improve our inner self and the possibility to enjoy fully all the great adventures, moments and marvels that life has to offer us every day.

Sad Songs Say So Much

I found myself meditating about the fact that most of the time I choose sad songs to sing or play in the guitar, and I came to the conclusion that the truth is that my heart has been broken too many times. I have suffered with my existance and often felt out of place, even though I had plenty of resourses to fit in most situations and people groups. Fortunately these feelings didn't create any  bitterness in me. On the contrary, I am  drawn to give love and peace to others.

I believe that all this turmoil and disorientation of my own purpose of living, has always been sublimated with love, passion, faith and the creation of peaceful, memorable moments, and above all, enriched experiences with also deep emotional people. Sometimes I have laughed with myself realizing that I have a special magnet towards deep, complex and emotional perplex humans beings. As the famous quote in Spanish says " Dios Los Cria, ellos se juntan" . Which it can be translated as an old English saying: "Birds of a feather Flock Together"

At some point I can see myself as a quite depressive person, but that it just a side of who I am, being like this helps me connect with other peoples sufferings and also appreciate deeply all the wonders of life.

There is also a great amount of effervescent happiness and whirlwind of joy and fun in my essence, sometimes hard to let it out to enjoy it profoundly.

Hopefully, the day will come, where  I will be able to let go of some essential responsabilities I have today,in order to enjoy fully just being "Me". Finally being free from social ties, and  from playing the game of "Life", to fit in.  I hope, That I can be wise enough to get this done.

In the meantime I will keep enjoying the music and all the emotions that I can express with my singing, I will keep on being spontaneous and authentic and finding the best way to surround myself with people consciously awaken with whom I can feel comfortable and relaxed.

Living the Life of Your Dreams

Once you’ve realize that life can be seen through different eyes, more aware of all that surround us, the experience of living turns out to be magnificent. Every day is a new beginning, a chance to enjoy what comes up to us. The connection between you and the outer world links a series of new unimaginable events. You become oneness with the world and the universe, and you notice that you have a special, unique role in the whole. Your body sensations turn animated, no longer feeling numb.  Our capacity to be surprised increases and you find joy in little things that before couldn’t be appreciated.

So the question is, I imagine; how do we arrive to this state?

First of all I need to advice you that I am not a quitter, when the results I get are not the ones expected, I keep on searching for success. I don’t let frustration invade my passion and determination to achieve that for what I am looking for. There is always a way around things, we need to become creative, using our full potential and all those resources within to get to our goal.

Focus in the Present Moment. It is deeply necessary to move forward from our past and let go of all those expectations we create about our future. As the quote says “The past is no longer here, the future is uncertain, we only have the present moment”. Thus, focusing in what we have NOW is one of the major keys to take into consideration. 

Connect to how you feel. Pay attention to all those emotions that you demonstrate in front of different situations. Get to know you better; who you really are, your desires, your goals, your dreams.

Make a plan. Design your life. Set some achievable short term goals. Those goals will motivate you to keep on making changes for future achievements. Find the purpose on those goals. Why do I want to get to that result? How will it affect my life? How will I feel when I get there?  Be certain about what you will be focusing in.

Put all your energy into that plan. Leave aside whatever interferes with it. Surround yourself with people that will encourage you in that direction and will accompany you with love and generosity.  Get toxic situations or people out of the way.

Trust yourself. You can make it happen. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Live with passion.  When all that you do, you connect to it, and even if there is something in particular that you do not like to do so much, you find a way to enjoy it, it will become easier to cope with it and you will then feel satisfied with the results.

Give.  The way to really feel fulfilled and to get that fuel that helps us keep on moving into our target, is contributing into something that serves the greater good. Do whatever it is in your possibilities to help or assist others.

Adapting these steps in your daily life will definitely get you closer to the life you desire.  It will automatically change your state of mind and you will become happy and at peace. Every day your awareness and positive emotions will increase making you more conscious about all that surrounds you.

Do not lose your drive. You Can Make it Happen.  

Eloping from Solitude

I have experienced in the past the necessity of running away from the solitude of being alone. The pain and discomfort of spending time with me was deep, my heart ached with despair, my mind was tangled with confusion and the loud silence around me harassed my soul. I was indeed going through a rough time and had no peace whatsoever within.

Fortunately those days are over now, and the awareness of getting to know myself and loving me for who I really am, detached the fear of solitude.

It is a sad place to be and I can sense now, that what I felt some others do as well, in a lighter or heavier way than me. For all of you that are going through a similar experience, I say, eloping from it won’t solve the problem. We must embrace and accept our fears and so, give meaning to our own self.

It is often impossible for our minds to understand what purpose certain events have in our life. But there are no random events, all is for a reason, thus being stuck in issues won’t let us be free from them. What happens refers to a suchness of the moment, which is as it is. What we can do is take action and be aligned with what is, the present moment, and forge a nonresistance relationship with it.

I found this wise quote that can pretty much show what it is on my mind today:

“Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others, because solitude is an achievement.”Alice Koller

Sometimes we decide to go on hilarious trips to change scenery, or fill all our spare time surrounded by people in order to avoid being by our own, or even create an imaginary parallel reality of what is actually going on, this may help at a certain point, but what we really need to focus on is in the advantage of being lonely to connect with ourselves.

The outside silence is an opportunity to hear our inner voice, our needs or emotions. We are so immersed in the madness of the stressful world we live in that we do not stop to see what is going on with our own little private world.

This doesn't mean that by avoiding the world, we will attain clarity and simplicity, but our mind do needs some silent meditation. So if you are in a sad moment, just remain quiet, ease your mind. Discover the harmony in your own being. Embrace it.

The Ultimate Goal

A few days ago I was chatting with a former NLP classmate and he asked me about my ultimate goal in life.
In spite of being quite a deep question, I answered him, what came to my mind in the blink of a secod.

-"When my Life will come to an end I would want to look back and Smile "

Obviously this desired goal leads to a vast variety of independent objectives of my life that in the sum of all of them will represent my ultimate goal.

Once my conversation was over,  I started enumerating to myself which specific situations or achievements would make me reach that aim.  Probably what generalizes my phrase is to Enjoy The Journey through life. But I consider that this could be somehow misunderstood by the listener. Since, this means to me something far more profound.

This is what I came up with, which however, in this dizzying life, constantly evolving, can be sometimes hard to follow rigorously, but definately worth the try.

• Pushing my boundries towards displaying my full potential. ( as a mother, a as woman, as a worker etc)
• Taking a leap of Faith in Me and the people I love
• Living a Meaninful Life ( not just for me, but for others lives too)
• Living according to my values and beliefs.
• Always Moving Forward with courage, passion and a Smile in my face.
• Forgiving Myself for mistakes and forgiving others as well.
• Be open to change, to evolve, to grow to learn constanly.
• Allowing always a space for fun and being the child within myself.
• Allowing myself to be vulnerable.
• Loving and enjoying Life to the fullest.
• Working towards achieving my lifestyle, my personal, family and business goals.

These would be my general guide which Iwill base in order to achieve my ultimate goal someday...

Looking forward to it.. whenever the time is right!

Wondering About LOVE

LOVE, four letters that form this amazing, yet complicated and hard to understand, powerful word.

What does Love means?

What is really to LOVE?

What Happens when we Love?

How do we feel when being Loved?

or Not feeling Loved?

Is it the love for life the same as the love for someone?

How do we really Love?

Why do we expect the love of others to feel complete?

There are so many questions about Love right?

What I do know now, is that the only love that has to be reached first, and be happy about it with no complaint is the love for oneself. The real spiritual self, the soul within the body. With the strengths and weaknesses, to know oneself truly and connect deep inside.

Loving oneself gives us peace and tranquility and the chance to acknowledge and accept our own weaknesses in order to change without feeling harassed by our own egoic fear of not being perfect.

Loving oneself gives us the wisdom to see our virtues and the power to develop them and give others the best we have to offer.

Loving oneself let's us see the beauty in others. All of us are special and unique.

Loving oneself gives freedom to Love sincerely without expecting something in return, as love is within, the love of others will not be needed to fill any emptiness.

Loving oneself gives us more time to give others our own Love, as we no longer spend time pretending to be someone else, performing an act about an "us" that doesn't really exists.

Loving oneself gives us a different perspective towards life and everything that surrounds us. We are able to see through the "eyes of love", thus, our compassion and appreciation of beauty increases greatly.

Loving oneself empower us to encourage others to also love themselves, because we know the feeling is worth it, so we become more generous.

Loving oneself helps us enjoy more this wonderful life.

Loving oneself will eliminate negative talk in our minds, fear, resentment, hate, envy, jealousy, avarice, sadness, and melancholy, and incredible positive emotions that will make our life rich in all aspects will emerge.

Wouldn't you start today to love yourself a bit more?