Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Journey

After falling again and again, still trying to find something I wasn´t quite sure what it was, I started to beleive that the years yet to come would be the beggining of a my new life.
And so it was.
On the early twenties my " adult life " began. I had a good loving husband, a new townhouse, an anxious Irish Setter, and the wonderful gift of motherhood. Everything was perfect.. or that was at least what it seemed.
Still, there was something missing.. and I didn´t have a clue about it. I enjoyed every moment of my life, I took care of my dog, my house, my husband, my baby.. but.. I forgot about someone very important. Myself.
It was on the following years, while I tried to cope with 2 c-sections, moving from the US to my hometown in South America, 1 divorce, depression, the guilt of having to become a full time working mom, the lack of a reasonable income, the loneliness, the arrival of a new love, the care of the children on my own, the constant diet issues, the euphoria of being again free and single, that I began to see how the person I had within was finally Rising.
Finally the pieces of my puzzled life where getting together. My family didn´t approve most of my ways of handling my stuff, so those old same feelings of not making them proud, of not understanding why they didn´t trust me, of them not knowing who I was, started to come back. But this time, I was stronger, I trusted myself, I had more self esteem, and I new my strenghs. So I fought!

I have No Regrets whatsoever of any choice in my life. I am grateful for all I had and If I had to start all over, I wouldn´t change a thing.

This huge process of looking inside myself was conducted by someone I admire and to whom I thank from the deepest of my heart for his support and encouragement during the most difficult moments of my life. My psychiatrist, Oscar.

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